First Mother's Day!

This past mother's day was the first one I ever really celebrated. Well, of course you say, I only have a ten month old so that would make perfect sense. However, I was eight months pregnant last year, which in any woman's mind would make her believe she was already a mother and then the mother's day before that I had already been pregnant (and lost it) so I was a quasi-mother? I never really know how to approach that . . . I had a baby, but not really. I was a mother, but not really. Oh well, it's in the past.

Anyway, this year I really, truly, was a mother in the full sense of the word. Until I had Alex, I never really knew what it was like to be a mother (once again, duh, right?). I had been a nanny for five kids and had many experiences babysititng. I didn't need to learn how to change a diaper, what different cries meant, what to do if the baby hurt itself - I already knew. I even loved the kids I watched with all my heart since they were my nieces and nephews. I thought I was all set and their was nothing else to learn. Boy, was I wrong!!! Having Alex was the craziest experience ever and I just don't mean the labor. I almost had a nervous breakdown during the first month because everything was so new. I also had never felt such immediate love for something. Of course I love Eric and knew I wanted to marry him the first time we met, but our love has grown over time. I just couldn't help loving Alex from the very start.

The biggest change was the OVERWHELMING sense of responsibility I feel for him. Every day, I am faced with a myriad of concerns and he's not even a year yet. I worry about not spending enough one-on-one time with him, spending too much one-on-one time with him, the fact that he's not walking yet or can't hold a bottle, that he might not learn how to speak well, that I'm not having him interact with other children enough, that I'm not feeding him the right foods, that I'm spoiling him too much or not enough, when I should start putting him in preschool . . . it's exhausting!!! And all the books seem to say something different. I can't even begin to imagine how I'm going to survive once he gets exposed to the outside world and I'm DREADING his teen years! Now I finally understand why my parents always seemed too stifiling. I guess they really, truly, were just concerned for my wellbeing and wanted the best. Looking back, they did a pretty good job and I have pretty big shoes to fill.

With all my worrying and learning, I wouldn't trade being a mother for the world. It has given me such a sense of purpose and I always wonder what took me so long. Of course, it is not always easy. The hardest part is feeling useless since I don't have anyone but Eric to praise my "work" and no promos to look forward to. I guess I'm rewarded every time Alex won't get off my lap and he learns to do something new. I am so blessed to have the opportunity to raise such a wonderful kid and I thank Heavenly Father every day for putting his trust in me to give me something so precious and delicate.

Eric made the day special by making me german pancakes (I guess it's turning into a holiday tradition). During breakfast he pretended he had to go to the bathoom. The doorbell rand and although I hestitated to answer it in my pajamas, I reluctantly opened it. Eric had placed a beautiful forsythia plant with a gorgeous bumble watch tied around it on our porch. The rest of the day was filled with teaching the relief society lesson and paying homage to my mom for Mother's Day and her birthday (which incidentally is on the 11th). It was nice to be remembered and I'm so grateful for Eric supporting me as a stay-at-home mom. Can't wait for next year!

Mother and Child

Mother and Child

God is Good, God is Great

We spent the middle of April doing what we always do . . . going to Zion National Park for our annual family vacation. I always love excaping to where it's warm and green while it's still a barren wasteland in SLC. It also holds a lot of memories because I think I've probably been there at least twenty-five times growing up.

This year the trip was extra special. As you may or may not know, Eric was facing overwhelming uncertainty in his current employment. He works (or worked?) for Merrill Lynch which was bought out at the end of the year by Bank of America. Shortly thereafter, B of A announced it would lay off 30,000 employees within the next three years. It's complicated but Eric's SLC division is the bank for ML and since B of A is already a bank, everyone assumed they would all be laid off. Especially since B of A announced they would be closing the charter on July 1st of this year (I told you it was complicated). Anyway, it got so bad that Eric's boss was sending him job opportunities elsewhere and everyone was encouraged to jump ship as fast as possible. Well, the Friday we were on our trip he got a message from his boss telling him to call in as soon as possible becuase he had something important to discuss with him. He dreaded making the call because we both assumed it was to be fired. To our great astonishment and delight, he didn't fire Eric but told him that B of A was offering him a permanent position (they only offered a position to 4 people in the entire SLC bank). We were both so happy and it totally made our trip.

As it turns out, Eric had been applying for other jobs during this whole ordeal and shortly after he was offered a job at B of A, he was offered a position with Silicon Valley Bank which is the major shareholder in the technology-lending sector. After careful consideration and prayer, Eric has decided to go with Silicon Valley Bank. He will have the opportunity to network with many important companies and individuals here in SLC and futher refine his skills.

Facing the current economy and the major problems with the banking industry, I wasn't sure what the future would hold. I was willing to go wherever we needed to go and to do whatever we needed to do but I was hoping that by some miracle we would be able to stay in SLC close to family and friends. We love our house and neighborhood and originally bought it because we hoped to be here for a long time. It was disheartening to know that we might have to leave. However, I wasn't too worried and knew without a doubt that no matter what happened, Heavenly Father would take care of us. By God's good graces, he has allowed us to continue to live here. I know that it was a blessing and an answer to our prayers for Eric to receive two very good offers here in SLC where the market is so poor right now and I am truly grateful for his loving care. I hope that I can repay him somehow. God is good and God is great. I personally testify that He will watch out for us if we put our trust in Him and ASK. He does answer prayers.

Anyway, I'm posting some pictures of our trip. You can see how happy we are.

Refining My Skills

I designed two baby announcements for a couple of friends. It's so easy when the photos are so stinkin adorable. Actually, it turned out to be three because Melissa couldn't decide which one she liked best so she sent out two. I'm definitely getting much better and would love to continue creating baby announcements and would like to branch out to other announcements: weddings, graduations, showers, etc. For the meantime I'm offering my services for free because I'm still in the learning process but soon I'd like to start advertising and charging. I know a lot of people already do this but I have plans to take it in a different direction so stay tuned for more to come ;) Let me know what you think!