Is it any wonder I yearn for more?
So after a month I have decided that everythings ok and that my life doesn't suck. Don't get me wrong, I was DEVASTATED when the IVF didn't work, and it's ok to feel sad when things don't go our way but all things considering, I have a pretty sweet life. I was REALLY dreading my 30th birthday - especially because I'm not where I envisioned myself being at that age. And it sucked not being "young" anymore although I feel like I'm still a reckless, immature 18 year-old who still has a ton of learning to do. Luckily, the summer has kept me almost too busy to think about it what with Father's Day, Girl's Camp, Alex's birthday, Eric's birthday, and the 4th of July. Let's just say I'm glad it's past :)
I still yearn to increase our family - it's something I've tried to ignore but I can't help feeling that our family is incomplete. We're looking into the option of adoption after letting my body and my spirits rest a little. Maybe at the beginning of next year we'll try unfreezing our last egg and if that doesn't work, move forward with adoption. I'm trying to focus on the positives in my life like being married to my absolute and perfect soul mate; having the most handsome, sweet, beautiful little boy in the world who apparently was a miracle; living in a large, comfortable, stylish home in a fantastic neighborhood; having everyone in my family in good health, being raised in the Gospel and having it continuely bless my life and the life of my family, and living in a wonderful country at a wonderful time where I can live as I wish in a democratic society.
And something else had helped me realize how blessed I am . . . I just received news that one of my old highschool friends is dying of cancer. If that's not enough, she's the mother of five. They think she only has a few weeks to live. Here's her blog: http://www.maelynnsjourney.blogspot.com/. So yeah, things could be worse. Much worse.
Thank you so much to everyone who has been such a support to Eric and I during this time. We were surprised at the generosity of some of our friends - some were more supportive than even our families! We received beautiful bouquets of flowers, consolidating letters, books and bubble bath, offers to watch our child overnight for a couples getaway, and a free dinner and pedicure for me :) I do still get sad sometimes - I can't help it - especially when I see a newborn or a friend announces their pregnancy, but I'm trying to remember that my life is in God's hands and he knows whats best for me. Maybe it just isn't the right time although I feel like I'm getting too old by the minute :) Or maybe we're supposed to adopt - I have always felt like I would like to adopt some day, even before I knew I had problems. At any rate, I'm determined to bring more children into our family by whatever means.
Thank you, friends, for all your support!
So after a month I have decided that everythings ok and that my life doesn't suck. Don't get me wrong, I was DEVASTATED when the IVF didn't work, and it's ok to feel sad when things don't go our way but all things considering, I have a pretty sweet life. I was REALLY dreading my 30th birthday - especially because I'm not where I envisioned myself being at that age. And it sucked not being "young" anymore although I feel like I'm still a reckless, immature 18 year-old who still has a ton of learning to do. Luckily, the summer has kept me almost too busy to think about it what with Father's Day, Girl's Camp, Alex's birthday, Eric's birthday, and the 4th of July. Let's just say I'm glad it's past :)
I still yearn to increase our family - it's something I've tried to ignore but I can't help feeling that our family is incomplete. We're looking into the option of adoption after letting my body and my spirits rest a little. Maybe at the beginning of next year we'll try unfreezing our last egg and if that doesn't work, move forward with adoption. I'm trying to focus on the positives in my life like being married to my absolute and perfect soul mate; having the most handsome, sweet, beautiful little boy in the world who apparently was a miracle; living in a large, comfortable, stylish home in a fantastic neighborhood; having everyone in my family in good health, being raised in the Gospel and having it continuely bless my life and the life of my family, and living in a wonderful country at a wonderful time where I can live as I wish in a democratic society.
And something else had helped me realize how blessed I am . . . I just received news that one of my old highschool friends is dying of cancer. If that's not enough, she's the mother of five. They think she only has a few weeks to live. Here's her blog: http://www.maelynnsjourney.blogspot.com/. So yeah, things could be worse. Much worse.
Thank you so much to everyone who has been such a support to Eric and I during this time. We were surprised at the generosity of some of our friends - some were more supportive than even our families! We received beautiful bouquets of flowers, consolidating letters, books and bubble bath, offers to watch our child overnight for a couples getaway, and a free dinner and pedicure for me :) I do still get sad sometimes - I can't help it - especially when I see a newborn or a friend announces their pregnancy, but I'm trying to remember that my life is in God's hands and he knows whats best for me. Maybe it just isn't the right time although I feel like I'm getting too old by the minute :) Or maybe we're supposed to adopt - I have always felt like I would like to adopt some day, even before I knew I had problems. At any rate, I'm determined to bring more children into our family by whatever means.
Thank you, friends, for all your support!
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